haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
