His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
