If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and she was petting her beer can
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize