WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
