So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
