How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize