I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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