sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize