marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
