what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
