did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When are your genitals available?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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