are you still at the devil's house?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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