I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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