You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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