apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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