he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
