I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
