fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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