Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.