we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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