is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this just has baby written all over it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
3pm strippers are depressing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
