I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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