just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
