haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
