I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
