I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize