Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
