i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
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I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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