it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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