i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
