We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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