Farmville is her only friend.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
