Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
