yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
