remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
