exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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