Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
