guys are only as good as the porn they watch
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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