i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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