i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's shark week go big or go home
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
