I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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