Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
