I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
