Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
