All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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