I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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