hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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