I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
