he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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