Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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