I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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