I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
