took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
