I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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