Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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