it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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