I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
