We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
