did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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